For the sake of everyone else around me, please make those with whom I'm most closely associated (with the exception of my sister, who is particularly good at making people) stop having babies forthwith. Infants are not good for my delicate sensitivities, particularly the "whining" bone, which is more easily fractured the closer I get to menopause.
Also, I'd like to discuss the nutritional content of Coldstone Creamery ice cream. I'd never read the label before this weekend. I wish I'd never read the label. I'm pretty sure it's a typo, though, because you couldn't pack that many calories from fat into a pint sized cardboard container if you actually filled said container with bacon grease. Normally I prefer to take my excess calories in the form of alcohol, and so this deserves consideration. Perhaps we could have a "free day"? Like, one day a year where nothing we eat counts? 'Cause I could pack all Coldstone consumption into twenty-four hours, I think.
One last thing: could you please do something about Marbles: A Brain Store advertising on the train with complicated critical thinking puzzles which apparently have no answer? I feel as though I'm constantly trying to get into the Ravenclaw common room.